The In-law Trauma

So if it isn't obvious to everyone by now, Andy and I are getting married. Still yet to be official, but it's gonna happen so those of you who deny it, get over it. Just kidding. Anyway, one of the things that has been disturbing me the most lately is how much it seems that I was put into a family (the in-law family) that is completely wrong for me. Andy's parents drive me nuts. Andy's brother seems to despise the very ground that I walk on. And my could be sister-in-law (Nick's girlfriend) won't talk to me at all! So throughout this summer my question for God is, "WHY?"

I later realized that maybe my question was all wrong. Maybe God's plan was actually right. So then I decided to reword my question. This time I asked, "Give me the opportunity to get to know these people, especially Kaylee." I knew that if I were to ever truly be happy within the family, I would have to make a true effort to at least get to know her. I didn't have to like her, but I can't not like someone I don't know.

This past weekend Andy, Nick and Rich were working the Boy's Chrysallis. Kaylee just got back from her's a week earlier, so when candlelight came around, I figured I should invite her to come along. I thought we would be carpooling with Andy's mom, Liz, but she decided to bail on us in order to catch up on rest. This was the first time in I don't know how long that she had the house entirely to herself. Since she wasn't going, Kaylee and I decided to carpool together. Truthfully, I was super excited to ride with her. I knew this was the opportunity I was looking for. Just one on one, no Nick to distract her or insult me, and we were trapped in a car together. You're pretty much forced to talk.

To my surprise, however, Kaylee carried on a pretty long conversation with me. In the 40 minute drive together, there wasn't a time of silence at all. What's more, talking to her came so natural. I was having a good time! We talked about school, our career plans, church, our families, until finally, we ended up at our destination. The minute we got in the building and met up with Andy and Nick she was silent. Didn't say a word to me. I was thinking, "I knew it. I knew it was too good to be true." I couldn't understand why she would be all friendly in the car and then barely look at me when the guys were with us.

The candlelight ended and I told her that I would meet her back at the car so that Andy and I could have a minute alone. (I figured she wanted the same with Nick) What happened on the ride home, though, was truly a work of God. I, the most intellegent woman ever, got us lost. I missed one of the turns heading toward Abilene, and we somehow ended up in Anson. Luckily I knew how to get home from Anson, so it wasn't a big deal, just several miles extra. However, if we had not spent that extra time in the car, what happened I don't think would have happened. Kaylee and I bonded.

I decided to appologize to her. I told her that I was sorry I had never tried very hard to get to know her and that if she thought I didn't like her, it wasn't true. She told me that the feeling was mutual. She was sorry she never talked to me either, and she said that she never did talk because she was afraid that she would be taking up the time between me and Andy. I couldn't believe it. All this time I thought she was snubbing me, and in reality she was trying to be courteous! We continued to talk and the subject changed to our guys. Now, if you don't know the two brothers, then you wouldn't know that these guys are so different, you don't know how they possibly ended up in the same family. One is macho and quick witted, the other is sweet, sensitive and a bit awkward. Their differences are the main reason why the four of us don't hang out. One thing she mentioned was how Nick in fact likes me. I never would have guessed it. She said that she has asked him many times why he doesn't like me so much, and she said he would respond, "I do like her!"

Kaylee started telling me about how Nick yells at her when she's driving and he drives like a grandpa. I exclaim, "Andy too!" I tell her about how Andy freaks out at little things and gets panicky in certain situations. She exclaims, "Nick too!" We then begin to share stories back and forth about the two brothers and discover that they're exactly alike. One just isn't afraid to show emotion and the other bottles it in. Who knew?

What this tells me? I've discovered that I really enjoy being with Kaylee. She's fun to talk to and the two of us have a lot in common. But more than that, since we've discovered that Nick and Andy are so miraculously similar, I expect that when both of them mature into full grown men, they will be friends. Therefore, if the brothers get along, and I do enjoy Kaylee, family get togethers will not be the horror I thought they would be. And what's more, I would have never realized this if we had not gotten lost. Thank you God. My fears are gone.