Home, Sweet Home

My house situation fell through. If God told me any louder to live at home, their would be a booming voice echoing from the sky that they entire world could hear. Every time I try to live somewhere else, it doesn't work. Last night I was running numbers to make sure I could afford my place. I thought I could. And turns out, I can...for the fall and spring semesters, but not this summer. I was going to have to take out $1000 in non-federal loans, which, if you've looked into them are basically a walking scam.

There are 5 different loans. 4 out of 5 loans have variable interest rates. If you know anything about loans and finance, then you know that that is a huge NO NO!!! So that cuts out those options. The last one had a fixed interest rate of 6% which is typical for student loans, but it had a 3% to 5% origination fee. Again, for those who don't know, that is where they take out a percentage of the amount you take out. So, if I took out $1000, I might only get $850 of it, but I would still have to pay $1000 and the interest on it. So that is completely unfair! I realized that I am trying way too hard to make this work and I would be getting myself into a mess if I tried any harder. As I told Andy, I think I knew this wouldn't work from the very beginning (I usually have a really good gut instinct), but I just didn't want to listen. So last night I had to call the two girls I would be living with and the landlords to inform them of my situation. That was so hard. I cried for about 15 minutes on the phone with Andy before I actually talked to anyone. I felt so guilty for letting people down.

God, however, knows how to make things work. There is already a potential girl who is looking into taking my place and now I will actually have money left over since I'm living with my parents. This isn't my ideal living situation, but if this is what God has planned for me, then I will most certainly oblige. What I learned from this is that my gut feelings that I have learned to ignore probably is God talking to me and that I should trust God entirely. This seemed like something that I could handle, but God can even handle the small things and expects you to lean entirely on Him. Thank you God.