Upon Request: The Adventures of the Mighty Metabolizer

Long ago, in a far away galaxy lived an obnoxious little girl named Linley. The problem with Linley was that she ate, A LOT! She ate so much, that the entire planet went into a famine and the little children looked like stick figures.
"What are we going to do!?" cried the townspeople, "We can't let her stay here, she'll eat us out of house and home...literally!"
Even Linley's childhood pet walrus Paul was feeling the pains of the famine.
"Linley," he said in a deep gravely voice, "I'm hungry. Might I have just little taste of your cookie?"
"I would, but I'm just so hungry. I know I just ate, but...HEY! What's that!?" Linley burst from where she was sitting and ran towards what looked like an enormous ice cream sundae, with cherry and all. As she ran, Paul tried to inch over to her abandoned cookie. As he started to look up, he saw her just about to leap on what was not an ice cream sundae, but a nuclear bomb that was to be shot at their 120th moon!
"No Linley, NO!!!!" shouted Paul, "that's not a..."
BANG! The bomb went off, and the entire city and surrounding mountainsides were flattened. No trees, no buildings, no pretty ornate shrubberies, just a lot of confused people looking around at each other in horror.

Now one of the things that you must understand about the people of this planet is that they are a sturdy people. Not frail like you and I, NO! They are as sturdy as if they were put together with super glue. Like cockroaches I guess you could say. They weren't cockroaches since cockroaches are disgusting and no one likes them. There would be no story if they were in fact cockroaches. No, these people look just like you and I, only sturdier. So the entire world survived this explosion, except the trees, buildings and ornate shrubberies. You get the idea.

"LINLEEEEEEYYYY!" screamed the president of the world, "she did it again. Did you see that? She did it again! We can't keep rebuilding every time her stomach gives her another hallucination!"
A booming voice sounded from no where. Deep and heavy, like thunder, only scarier and no lightning or rain.
"LINLEY...you are hear by banished from this world."
"Wha-what?" stammered Linley.
"You must leave and never return. NEVER! Now GO! And take this stupid walrus with you. He's an insult to animal kind," boomed the voice.
"Now see here," started Paul.
"WHAT?! You dare question me, the great and powerful disembodied voice, you sorry excuse for a mammal!?" screamed the voice, "Go, get out of my sight, I can't look at you anymore."

So Paul and Linley slowly strode towards the nearest intergalactic bus station. She didn't have any bags. She already ate them.
"Boy Paul, this stinks."
"You're telling me!"
"If we just had some food..."
"Food!! Food!!! Is that all you can think about? It's your love of food that got us into this mess in the first place."
"It looked like a sundae. How was I supposed to know that it was actually a ballistic missile aimed to destroy the 120th moon?"
Paul sighed, "where are we going anyway?"
"Who knows, hopefully they have food!"

They rode for days, weeks, maybe even months. By the time they reached any destination, all of the seats, windows, overhead compartments and passengers (except a little green blob named Whitney that she thought didn't look very appetizing). The bus was completely empty except for Paul, Linley and Whitney...oh and the bus driver, but he doesn't come into the story at all.
"Well, since you've eaten everything but the bus...and Whitney, I suppose we should get off here, or you might eat me as well!" groaned Paul.
They hopped off the bus into the clear, bright world of Earth.

"Where are we?" breathed Linley.
"Hmm...by my calculations, it appears we are on a planet inhabited by greenery, water, and crunchy water filled morsels," smacked Whitney.
"Wait a minute, you're hungry too? Have either of you heard of fasting, or dieting, or starving perhaps?"
"I can almost taste 'em. Their watery center with a little crunch around the edges."
"So uh...just out of curiosity, where does it all go? I mean...you're a blob."
"Ah yes...very observant my blubbery friend, I am as you say, a blob," sighed Whitney, "for now at least." And before their very eyes, Whitney stretched and turned and twisted into a beautiful caribou.
"Oh, you look lovely," smacked Linley.
"Hold it Linley, remember...she's a blob."
"Oh yeah..."
"Alright, well Whitney, as much as it pains me, you seem to know your way around here, so you have to be our leader," groaned the walrus.
"Can I just lick her?"
"Yes, I will be your leader! And thus I will lead you. And led you will be...muahahaha!" cackled Whitney.
And off they cantered into the vast city of Brady, TX. As they were coming into the town, Linley made one last groan of hunger.
"I'M SO HUNGRY! Goodbye cruel world, goodbye to all who inhabit it. I barely begun to know thee. Tell my mother I loved her, and my children that their mother did not die in vain. Tell them...tell them to be proud of their dear sweet mummy."
"Okay, first of all, you aren't British so don't say 'mummy'. Secondly, you don't have children. Thirdly, you ate your mother when you were two. And lastly, you are not dying!" snapped Paul, "so just keep walking. Maybe there's a place nearby to eat."
"Yes," thought Whitney, "maybe there is a place to eat."
They came across a pizza parlor full of pizza, and a very handsome young man named Andy Corn. Andy Corn was the most eligable bachelor in Brady. Dashing, witty, and he made the finest pizza this side of the Brazos. When Linley walked into the diner, her whole body melted into a sea of tingles.
"He looks so...tasty," she gasped, "I just want to eat him all up."
"Hold on there Juliet. You don't bite the hand that feeds you, even if you want to eat that hand," Paul corrected.
"Hey! Pets aren't allowed here!"
"Huh?"
"You have to take your pets outside if you want food," Andy called from the counter.
"Pets?"
"Yeah, your caribou and...is that a walrus?"
"Yes, and this walrus has got a name. Got a problem with that?" Paul sneered.
"Good Lordy the great mammal talks."
"Yes, and the caribou does too. I want a large pepperoni, extra cheese on thin crust," Whitney ordered.
"I don't know if I can handle this."
"I feel...faint," groaned Linley.
"Oh...well, hang on, just hang on there now, let me make you a pizza and I'll get you something to drink," Andy hurried into the back and started shuffling around with their order.

As Andy Corn started to bring out their order, Linley zipped over there faster than light, ate the pizza, and sat down before Andy knew what had hit him, or the pizza.
"What the?"
"Mmm...that was good! More more!"
"Okay? I guess I'll go make another one."
When Andy came back out, it wasn't Linley but Whitney who ran to the pizza. Except instead of devouring the pizza, she took it and ran as far away as she could with Linley screaming after her.
"I told you you shouldn't bring pets in here."
Whitney turned back into the hideous green blob and ate the pizza. The pizza oozed down into the depths of her abdomen, or whatever it was, and began to multiply. One after the other, until there were hundreds, thousands, millions of pizzas. They began to flow out of Whitney and onto the street, into houses, buildings and major streets until the entire city was one big pizza buffet. The poor citizens didn't even know what had hit them until Whitney began to grow even more. She grew, tall, wide, and even more disgusting. The towns people tried to scream but they were all trapped under the pizzas. Linley heard the screaming outside and went to check to see what it was. What she saw was the most horrible sight any subhuman has to see. There was a mountain of pizza and on top, an enormous booger. The booger was stomping and roaring. Whitney picked up a human, and CRUNCH, he was gone. And another, CRUNCH! And another CRUNCH!

And ran out, "NOOO! Sarah Corn! That booger ate my wife!!!"
"Wait, you're married??" asked Linley.
"Oh yeah, I have been for a long time, I just try to keep it all hush hush."
"I will save your wife and this little pizza filled town!"
"But how?"
"I must eat...the booger."
And off she ran, chomping the pizza as she went, cutting a path to the enormous mucus monster and her captives. She came to Whitney and all her slimmy glory and was about to take a bite, when she realized, she has muscinex in her pocket! She found it in the vending machine in the pizza shop! Linley through the pills into Whitney and waited. Whitney began to chuckle,
"your little earth pills will not affect me! My ancestors built up an immunity decades ago!"
Linley knew what she must do. This was her purpose. The reason she was born. She took an enormous bite, one by one, and devoured Whitney, including her victims.
"I guess I got a little out of control," smirked Linley.
"That's okay, she was getting on my nerves anyway," smiled Andy, "but how are we going to clean up all this pizza???"
Linley smiled, and in a flash the pizza was gone.
"My word, the pizza is gone! Where did it all go?"
Linley patted her stomach and grinned.
"But you're a twig, not fat at all. You must have a metabolism like the speed of light!"
And off they went with Paul scooting behind them into the sunset. Whenever an evil fiend came to take over Brady, TX, Linley was there to save the day cause she is the
MIGHTY METABOLIZER!!!!

If God Owned a Bullhorn...

Okay, here's a question for you. Have you ever had the feeling that God is telling you that you have a purpose and you are meant to be somewhere, but He is telling you ahead of time? Like you know that you are supposed to leave, to go somewhere else, but when you start to make plans, it just all feels wrong, even though in the end you know that is where you need to be? I discovered myself having these feelings the past few weeks. It started when I went to Lubbock with Linley. The very feeling of being in Lubbock just made me feel happy, content, and purposeful. I let out a deep sigh one day as I was driving to Tech to meet Andy. I was content, I was happy. The very thought of returning to Abilene gave me a horrible, sickening feeling.

The day that I had to return to Abilene, I was sad, but determined not to cry on my way home. I didn't want to leave...home; I didn't want to leave my home. When I returned to Abilene, I sank into a deep depression. Worse than I have ever been in throughout my entire life. For about three nights straight, I cried myself to sleep. One night, I was walking around my dorm hardly able to hold the tears in. I think I scared my roommate. I actually shut myself in my closet.

So I started praying about it, telling God that I was sad and so forth. He was silent the entire time. I began to get angry because I felt like God wanted something from me, but He wouldn't verify what that was. From what I was sensing, I needed to be in Lubbock. My time here in Abilene is done and I need to get out of here and go where I am needed. How could I prove to myself, though, that this wasn't just a longing to be with Andy? The difference was, that this was stronger than it has ever been before and I have never wanted to leave Abilene as badly as I did then. I decided that God now wanted me in Lubbock and ACU was not where I need to be. So I started looking up library jobs in Lubbock (there were three positions open I might add), and started thinking about transferring and what all that would entail. Once I started doing that, I had a flash in my head about all the people in Abilene that I think need me. I had yet another sickening feeling about leaving Abilene! Good grief God make up your mind, where do you want me? I realized, that my time here is not at an end. I have never had this happen but once, and that was whether or not I was supposed to marry Andy. Of course that was supposed to be in the future. But where I'm supposed to live? And without me asking? I truly believe that God was trying to tell me that I have a purpose in Lubbock, but not just yet, that I'm still going to have to wait a little while longer.

When God says no...he means it

I think it is absolutely amazing how you can have extravagent plans that just seem to be perfect. You sit down, plan it all out, and you have a genuine "aha!" moment when you discover that everything just falls into place perfectly. Then not far down the road, everything just does not go as planned. Not just one thing wrong...no, everything is wrong. Everything just says, "God does not want you to do this right now."

This happened to me today. I thought that I would be able to live away from home in a house or an apartment with friends and I that I would easily be able to afford it. I tossed the idea around with my mom, and as I was talking everything just seemed to be so perfect. I could use the loan money that I would have used for the dorm on my rent. I have had several people ask what I'm going to be doing for living arrangements. I could think of at least two houses that would be free after this semester. Everything seemed perfect. Until I got a letter back from the first house owner, Paul, who said that the two sides of his duplex that would presumedably be empty after this semester would in fact be occupied. Okay, that's fine. There's still one house left. Then I get home and my current roommate says that she already has plans. Okay, that's fine, there's still one person and she asked me if I'd live with her. I check my computer and she had written me back to say that just recently she made plans with three other people. Could God be saying no any louder. I get all of this in the same day. There are no other people other than these two girls, so there isn't any point in seeing if I could get that other house.

For whatever reason, God wants me to live at home. I don't know why, but that's the way it has to be. I trust Him, but I'm not going to deny that I am very disappointed.

Shopping for that Special Ring

I know most of you have not started looking for your ring yet and if some of you were, I would be a bit concerned. I've started looking to see if I can find a good price on a ring and which ring I would like to have. Problem is, what do I do when I find one? I can't exactly say, "hey Andy, I found a ring. You should go out and buy one."

So today I was shopping in the clearance section on the Zales website, cause I'm cheap like that. I found the perfect ring. I love it! Now what do I do. I kind of hinted that I found one I liked, but does he question further, NO! *groan* Well, just for your information, this picture of a ring is the ring that I absolutely love. Just so you know. haha...

License and Registration Ma'am

Would you believe that for the first time in my life, I was pulled over for a traffic violation? Yes, me! Driving Miss Daisy Sarah! I couldn't believe it either. I've always imagined what it would be like when I was finally pulled over. Would I cry? Would I talk really fast? Would I make a complete fool of myself so that the officer thought there was something wrong with me and gave me a sobriety test? Well, tonight when I saw the bright lights of the Highway Patrolman's car, I calmly pulled over. Like I had done this a hundred times! But once I got to the side, my head started to race. What did I do? I wasn't speeding. I'm pretty sure I used my blinker back there when I was changing lanes. Oh no, what if I was weaving and he thinks I'm drunk!?

The officer walks over to my car and says in the best Barney Fife voice ever, "Ma'am, I am a Highway Patrol Officer. I have pulled you over because you have a headlight out."

Me: "Really? Which one?"

Officer: "That one" (points to passenger side)

Me: "Oh thank you sir, I will definately get that fixed."

Officer: "Ma'am I need to see your license and registration"

I hand him both.

Officer: "Where were you headed Miss?"

Me: "ACU"

Officer: "Are you from Abilene?"

Me: "Uh...yes."

Officer: Looks at my registration "And who's this...Bradley Gallaway?"

Me: My dad...

Officer: Mhmm...well, MISS Gallaway, this will be a warning, but let me reitterate that your headlight is out and you need to get that fix A..S..A..P.

So he takes my license and runs my information in his car. Let me tell you that I just got back from the movies and I REALLY needed to use the bathroom. He takes almost 7 minutes running my information in his car. Meanwhile, I am rocking back and forth in my car saying to myself, "I gotta pee, I gotta pee, I gotta pee." When he finally returns, he hands me my license and the piece of paper that says I almost committed a crime (it says Violator: Sarah Gallaway, Warning: Defective Head Lamp). And then he says, "well, Miss Gallaway, here's your warning and you best get that headlight fixed." And then walks off and waits for me to drive off.

That was the most awkward and strange event I have ever had. That man was so weird and he kept me too long. I needed to potty. Well, I can honestly say that I've been pulled over. Well, at least I didn't get a ticket.

Adventures in Tortilla Land (Lubbock for those who don't know)

For those who know me well, you know that I am in no way daring. I stick to the rules, and if anything seems the least big out of sorts, I will literally flee. So this past weekend when I went to Lubbock with Linley, I had my first daring streak! Here's how it all went down.

Linley and I were in Andy's room. We had just finished studying and now we had ordered a pizza and were about to watch the movie "What Happens in Vegas" (which if you haven't seen you need to. It is so funny!). So after the movie, I was on a little sugar high and couldn't sit still. We all played cards and when we were done, Linley exclaimed that she needed to use the bathroom. Since we were in Andy's dorm, we couldn't use the bathroom on that floor because it is a guy's bathroom and it most certainly wasn't late enough for us to sneak in. We had to go down two floors to the guest bathroom. Linley was wearing a cami because she didn't want to get pizza on her nice shirt. So she looked all sexy and cute. Why shouldn't I? Ironically I was wearing the same cami underneath my nice shirt. So I stripped down to my cami and jeans and formulated a plan. Why I thought of this, I can't say.

I decided that Linley and I would link arms with Andy on either side of him, strut our stuff down the hall, and see how many weird looks or double takes we get. For those of you who are not familiar with Andy, he doesn't exactly hang out with girls when I'm not around. He's such a good guy. So if any of his neighbors saw him with two girls dressed the way we were, we would definately get some looks. We leave his room and start "strutting" down the hallway, only to not run into a single person! I was so disappointed. Andy and I waited outside the bathroom for Linley to get done and quickly started heading back to his room. Only this time, Andy's 3 neighbors were lining the hallway. The way they were standing, we had to walk right between them. So I turn the strut back on, and the moment Linley and I reached them, they got silent. I tried not to look at them, but what I did see was wide eyes and there could have been question marks over their heads like that "I'm thinking Arby's" sign in the commercials. Man I felt HOT!

So we get back to Andy's room and all three of us start cracking up. Andy was beaming. I think that night the poor thing felt like a man. He had two hot girls, and they had nothing. In fact, the next day he said, "I wanted to look them straight in the eye and say 'you may have your beer and slutty girls, but I have two hot women and you have NOTHING!'" And you know what, even though I probably shouldn't have done that and it was in no way lady like, it kinda boosted my self-esteem too. I felt hot. I had three guys check me out and my man was proud of me. I guess I had never really thought about it, but it is really nice to know that Andy would gladly say, "this is my woman and she is hot."

So no the night wasn't exactly "daring" and I didn't put my life in danger like most college students, but it was exciting and I felt good! Oh and later on that night we took a walk around campus and this girl and guy burst out of Andy's dorm panting. As they walked past us, I heard the guy pant "man that was some good sex." I thought I had heard wrong until Andy said something about it. UGH! Who does that and says something so we can hear it! At least wait to leave until you can stop breathing hard! It was a very eventful night.

In the Beginning

Hello all,
I decided that it is high and time that I start writing things down. With my life as busy as it is, there is no other way for friends, family, coworkers, or random strangers to know what's going on in my life. I hate to make people sit and listen to my struggles or joys, so this way you can hear what I have to say and if you think it is completely and utterly a waste of your time and effort, you are free to stop reading as you please. SO...here we go.

Christmas break is just about to end and I am dreading returning to school. This last semester was very very stressful. There were points where I didn't think I would make it through. I took 16 hours and worked 20. I was up past midnight every night and then I would usually wake up at 8 or earlier every morning. I skipped a lot of meals. Some days, I would only run on one meal all day which usually consisted of something greasy and unhealthy. Soda and sugar kept me running. Needless to say, I hated school. This semester should be better, I'm only taking 13 hours, two of which are water aerobics and band. Then an English literature class and an online education class. So those should be relatively easy.

So, what about me and Andy? I will not hesistate to say that this has been a trying run for the both of us. However, if you consider what it could be like if we went to schools in separate states or if we had decided to not try to do a long distance relationship at all, this really isn't that bad. I have been very very blessed to have Andy in my life and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Which brings me to the question that I know everyone is DYING to ask. When are you two getting engaged? I will answer that with a sigh and say that I do not know. Only Andy and God know the answer to that question.