Sunday, January 25, 2009

When God says no...he means it

I think it is absolutely amazing how you can have extravagent plans that just seem to be perfect. You sit down, plan it all out, and you have a genuine "aha!" moment when you discover that everything just falls into place perfectly. Then not far down the road, everything just does not go as planned. Not just one thing wrong...no, everything is wrong. Everything just says, "God does not want you to do this right now."

This happened to me today. I thought that I would be able to live away from home in a house or an apartment with friends and I that I would easily be able to afford it. I tossed the idea around with my mom, and as I was talking everything just seemed to be so perfect. I could use the loan money that I would have used for the dorm on my rent. I have had several people ask what I'm going to be doing for living arrangements. I could think of at least two houses that would be free after this semester. Everything seemed perfect. Until I got a letter back from the first house owner, Paul, who said that the two sides of his duplex that would presumedably be empty after this semester would in fact be occupied. Okay, that's fine. There's still one house left. Then I get home and my current roommate says that she already has plans. Okay, that's fine, there's still one person and she asked me if I'd live with her. I check my computer and she had written me back to say that just recently she made plans with three other people. Could God be saying no any louder. I get all of this in the same day. There are no other people other than these two girls, so there isn't any point in seeing if I could get that other house.

For whatever reason, God wants me to live at home. I don't know why, but that's the way it has to be. I trust Him, but I'm not going to deny that I am very disappointed.

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